Thursday, December 25, 2014

'I am walking with a heart full of Grief and loss'

Guilford, Connecticut

As the man hands me the jar
He whispers their is money inside.
Tears well up in my eyes.
I am walking with a heart full of Grief and loss,
Generosity and love don't live here anymore.
Life has dealt me a wicked blow,
And survival is all that I think about.
As I drive away my tears continue.
Not opening the jar yet,
I assume maybe the extra will
Buy my son his favorite pizza on Christmas.
Arriving home I finally open the jar.
It is the letter I read first,
And with it I am overwhelmed by what I count.
I break down with my head against the steering wheel.
Who could be so giving?
Who could be so loving?
And who decided to give this to us?
I have been dreading Christmas.
With no money to buy presents,
My 13 year old son knows the stress behind my eyes.
He says mom don't worry,
I don't need anything.
But within his brave face is a lost boy.
Wearing the sadness of losing his father,
Dealing with his autism the best he can.
Trying to fit in at a rich kids school.
I can't fight his battles,
Only try to soften the blows.
As I start to realize what this gift means to us,
I think of a prayer I had said the night before.
Please God, please help us during this hard time.
Angels appear in many forms.
And with the jar,
certainly an angel came to me.
For now their will be presents,
The electric bill paid,
And food to take us through the holiday.
So when I think about the person,
who so generously gave us this gift.
My mind drifts to
Angels and God,
I cannot help,
but believe they are real.

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